“Warning - three minutes and counting. “Energize your target scanners, prepare to recycle your life.” The dull faceless voice of the Keepers once again reminding me of my destiny.

Once more the moment of renewal, the tenth I can remember. It was all agreed a hundred years ago, mankind would continue. We took a decision, the world took a vote, better to live in the loop of time than be destroyed as a species. But was it the right decision? At the appointed time we would return to exactly ten years previously. Compromises had to be made -no one would age. For twenty years, the first and second cycles, when the  children reached puberty they also  ceased to age. But now more than ever I notice there are no new laughing children. No one can give birth to another life, it was part of the agreement. We could live those ten years again as we liked. They didn't tell us what to do, our decision,our fate. We are still in control, we have the power over our destiny. It's the strangest of feelings, knowing that in the next few moments, I would go back to a time when there were no more aches and pains. Isn't it amazing what a difference ten years can make? I've seen my children grow up, but I know I will never see them have children, I will never be a Grandmother. They would never experience holding a new born child, feel that need to love and protect. Was it fair to deprive them of that? But now they can live,  learn so much, form true lasting friendships. They have the freedom now to learn more than anyone else has ever had the chance to do, so much time to become experts in their fields of study. One life time was never enough to learn from mistakes, but now we all have a chance to learn and grow. I am so lucky to have had the time to write ten lifetimes of stories. Would Shakespeare not have given anything to have been given ten lives to write more tales? But what would it feel like to grow old? The taster of this wisp of grey hair, the pain in my knee,  both will be gone in a moment. Yes, it will feel better, I'll have more energy again.

But then.. I watch Simon go back to the time before. He relives the same pains, he wants to die but death is not an option, the numbers must not be unbalanced. We all chose to live, but we didn't know what would happen in those ten years, did we? Disease,  the effects of radiation poisoning, no one thought of that. Yes, I know, some cures had been found, and maybe one day we can all be free from pain, but how long, how many cycles does it take?   “One minute, ensure you are secured in your pod.”

Why do I feel so nervous? Why do I question the renewal? Why?

God, I can see the shutters closing around me,blanking out the light. I am alone. Should we be doing this? I can stop this, I don't want to go on living time over and over again. But it's a joint decision,if I don't push the button, then no one else will renew. Can I do that, can I decide the fate of hundreds of others? What right have we to keep living after millions of others have died? What right have I to decide? It can't go on, I'll simply chose not to push the button. I'm sorry children but we few can no longer be kept in this protected zone, with the hope of one day finding a new world. We had our chance, and we threw it away.  Forgive me, but I'm know this is right, we will be truly free at last. I have the power to make my own decision, let the peace of nothingness take me. . . . .

In the distance the faceless voice rings out,“Pods 23,45 and 67, have not re-energized.”

The Keepers sigh heavily,“Humans are so unreliable, just push the over-ride again. Can we do something to stop this species thinking. This happens every cycle, someone always wants to opt out. It's for their own good, would they rather be extinct? Some species don't appreciate what we do for them.”